


Drunk Me

by Rscheezy



Category: Women's Soccer RPF
Genre: F/F
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-08-24
Updated: 2018-09-06
Packaged: 2019-07-01 23:04:25
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 4,799
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15783939
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Rscheezy/pseuds/Rscheezy
Summary: There's Tobin when she's sober and is able to live life free, and then there's drunk Tobin where she can't seem to get over her ex.





	1. Can you come over?

**Author's Note:**

> Hello everyone! This story has been in my head ever since I heard the song "Drunk Me" by Mitchell Tenpenny. I figured I'd write it out. This is going to be a pretty short fic, and I have an idea of how I want it to end. So... I hope you like it.

            “I’m going to call someone.” Tobin said to Lindsey as she took a shot of jack.

            “Don’t.” Lindsey said as she grabbed Tobin’s wrist.

            “It’s fine. Just let me call her.” Tobin said pulling her hand away from her friend. She opened her contacts on phone. The phone on her clock said 1:52am but she didn’t care. She pushed call and brought the phone up to her ear.

            “Hello?”

            Tobin closed her eyes. It’s been months since she’s heard her voice. “Hi.” Tobin said sheepishly smiling.

            “You’re drunk aren’t you?”

            Tobin nodded. “You got me.” She cleared her throat and ran a hand through her hair. “I miss you.”

            “Tobin I can’t-

            “I know. I just wanted you to know that I still think about you.” Tobin said sadly.

            “Get some sleep.”

            “Chris I don’t know how to do this without you.” Tobin said sitting on the ground.

            “You’ll be fine. Go to sleep.”

            Before Tobin could say anything she heard her phone beep signaling that the girl on the other end had hung up.

            “Fuck!” Tobin yelled gripping her phone. She stood back up and walked towards the garage where her friend was sitting.

            “I told you not to didn’t I?” Lindsey said passing Tobin a shot.

            Tobin took the glass and stared at it. She threw the shot back to her throat and swallowed the amber liquid.

            “You were doing so good. I thought you were starting to get over her.”

            Tobin shook her head. “I just can’t seem to shake her. If I let her go I feel that a part of me is being let go too.”

            “It’s been months Tobs. You have to let her go.” Lindsey said as she poured another round.

            Tobin held her head on the table and started sobbing. Lindsey looked over at her broken friend. She knew this break up was eating at her. She knew Tobin had to let some feelings out. Lindsey stood up and brought her chair next to Tobin. She sat down and started rubbing Tobin’s back.

            “Hey, shh. It’s ok. Just let it out.” Lindsay said throwing back a shot.  “You’ll be ok Tobs. I know you can get over her. I know it hurts but this will pass eventually. You just have to hang on you know?” Lindsey said pulling Tobin’s head to her chest.

            Tobin’s body started to shake as a sob escaped her. She held on to her best friend tight.

 

 

            Tobin woke up with a pounding headache. A sliver of light shone through her curtains as she blocked the sun with her hand. She groaned as she turned over on her stomach. She looked at her bedside table and found a cup of water on her nightstand. She reached for it and tilted her head so she could take a drink.

            “You know you called her last night.” Lindsey said in the doorway of Tobin’s room.

            Tobin shut her eyes tight, her memories flooding back. She pushed up off the bed into a sitting position. She leaned her elbows on her knees and held her head in her hands. “I did didn’t I?”

            Lindsey walked across the room and sat on Tobin’s bed. She picked at Tobin’s black comforter and she turned her head towards Tobin. “You wanna talk about it?”

            Tobin bit her lip debating whether she should or not. “I only call her when I’m drunk.”

            Lindsey nodded letting her friend talk out her feelings. It’s been two months since her friend and long time girlfriend split. She thought Tobin would be a lot harder to handle after the break up but the only thing Lindsey had to do was to convince Tobin to stop calling Christen. Some days it was easy but on days when Tobin drank were the days that she was unstoppable.

            “I think I’m going to stop drinking Linds.”

            Lindsey looked over at her friend. Her eyes were wide with her friend’s statement. Tobin loved to drink. Since they turned twenty-one drinking became such a big deal to them. “Can you stop drinking? You know we drink at least once a week.”

            Tobin shrugged. “I don’t know. I guess I’ll give it a try.”

 

            It had been a two weeks and Tobin could feel the stress of the work week on her shoulders. All she wanted to do was go home and drink something to take the edge off. Before heading home she passed by the corner liquor store near her apartment. She quickly grabbed a bottle of jack and paid for it at the front of the store. Tobin got into her car and drove home. As she arrived at her parking garage she put the car in park. She picked up the bottle wrapped in a brown paper bag, took a deep breath and got out of her car.

            Tobin walked to the front of her apartment and unlocked the door. She stepped in and closed the door behind her. She walked towards the kitchen and quickly went to the cabinet that held all her shot glasses. She picked up a shot glass and a cup for chaser and brought it over to the island in the center of her kitchen. She turned around to her refrigerator and grabbed the coke. She sat on one of the wooden stools and let out a heavy sigh. She took out her phone and looked at the time. Tobin placed the phone on the counter and opened the bottle of jack. She paused and stared at the bottle once more as if asking herself if she should. She shook her head and shrugged as she grabbed the neck of the bottle and poured the liquid into the shot glass.

 

 

           

            The bar was in full swing tonight. The air was warm, and the scent of cut lemon filled Tobin’s nose. She shifted in the metal chair that she sat in at the bar patio. She looked over at her friend who was scoping the area out for someone to talk to.

            “Hey check it out.” Tobin said as she nodded towards the table behind Lindsey. 

            Lindsey turned around and saw a guy and a girl talking. She turned around facing her friend and looked at her questioning what she was looking at.

            “That girl looks so uncomfortable next to the guy. You think I should go save her?”

            “Are we playing captain save a hoe again?”

            Tobin laughed and took a sip of her jack and coke. “No seriously. Ever since the guy went up to her she’s been scooting away from him little by little.”

            Lindsey shrugged and sipped on her beer. “Up to you. I’d rather mind my own business.”

            “But look at her Linds. She’s gorgeous.”

            “I knew this wasn’t just coming from an altruistic plane.”

            Tobin finished the rest of her drink and stood up. She gave her friend a fist bump as she walked towards the bar. “Wish me luck.”

            “Hey” Tobin said leaning against the bar. The bartender stopped wiping the counter and looked up. Tobin pointed towards the guy and the girl, “What is that girl drinking?”

            “A gimlet.” The bar tender yelled over the music.

            “Can I have a jack and coke and one gimlet please?”

            The bartender nodded and started mixing the drinks.

            Tobin paid for the drinks and grabbed it facing the table where the gorgeous girl was. She took a deep breath in and let it out quickly trying to pump herself up. She walked towards the table and set down the gimlet in front of the woman.

            “Hey babe, sorry it took so long.” Tobin said sitting next to the woman on the bench wrapping her arm around the lady.

            “Oh, you’re together?” The guy stopped confused.

            “Yeah. What’s your name bro?” Tobin asked extending a hand towards the guy.

            “Uh… I gotta go.” The guy said quickly standing up.

            Tobin chuckled and grabbed her drink and took a sip of it. Her arm still wrapped around the woman, she smiled. “I’m Tobin. What’s your name?”

            The girl bit her lip and said softly, “I’m Christen.”

            “Did you know the guy?”

            Christen laughed and shook her head. “He just came up to me while I was enjoying my drink alone.”

            “I figured. I noticed you scooting away from him every now and then.”  
            “You noticed me?” Christen asked moving a little closer to Tobin.

            “How could I not? You look amazing.”

            The shy girl bit her lip and tucked her hair behind her ear.

            “Is this ok?” Tobin asked motioning to her arm around the girl.

            Christen nodded. “It’s fine. Plus the guy is still looking at us.”

            Tobin made eye contact with the guy across the room and lifted her drink towards him and smiled.

            The guy quickly turned around taking a shot.

            “So do you come here alone often?” Tobin asked

            Christen shook her head, “It’s my friend’s birthday. I just got here early.”

            “Chris, who is this?” Another girl asked standing in front of the two women that were snuggled up together.

            “Alex, this is Tobin. She saved me from this guy that was trying to talk me up.”

            Alex looked over at Tobin her eyebrow slightly raised. “Sure she did.”

            Tobin moved her arm around Christen and grabbed her drink. “That is my cue to leave.” She said standing up.

            Before she got far, she felt a hand grab her wrist. “Let me get your number.”

            Tobin tilted her head.

            Christen cleared her throat “You know, just so I can repay you for saving me.”

            Tobin smiled and grabbed Christen’s phone. She quickly typed her number in and handed it back. “Call me sometime.” Tobin said as she walked back towards the table where Lindsey was sitting.

 

 

 

            A knock brought Tobin out of her thoughts. She shook her head and noticed the almost empty bottle of Jack.  She looked at her phone and noticed that she had texted Christen. She stood up feeling her world swaying. She steadied herself as she walked towards the door. Tobin opened the door only to see Christen standing there biting her lip.

            “I’m here.” Christen said

            “You’re here.” Tobin stared at her. “I texted you didn’t I?” Tobin said rubbing the back of her neck.

            “Have you been drinking?” Christen asked.

            Tobin nodded slowly. She stepped aside motioning for Christen to come in. She swallowed hard her throat feeling dry. “I didn’t actually think you’d come.”

            “Do you want me to leave?” Christen asked crossing her arms.

            Tobin took a step towards her, “No, I never want you to go.” She lifted her hands to Christen’s chin and lifted her head up.

            Christen turned her head to the side. “This doesn’t change anything.”

            “I know.” Tobin said leaning in.

            Christen grabbed Tobin’s face and kissed her. It started slow. An I miss you kiss. This was familiar to both of them. It had been months since they’ve seen each other. The last time they kissed it was a hurtful one. One that said goodbye, and one that felt like betrayal. Tobin pulled Christen closer, her hands on Christen’s hips. She sucked Christen’s bottom lip into her own and gave it a gentle bite. Christen let a moan escape as she pulled bringing them closer.

            Tobin started to walk Christen towards her couch. The back of Christen’s knees hit the couch and before Tobin could push her down, Christen flipped them over and pushed Tobin down. Shocked, Tobin looked over at the girl in front of her. Christen’s eyes were a dark green. Her pupils were blown with lust. She straddled Tobin’s lap and leaned in for another kiss. This was aggressive. Teeth clashed and tongues wrestled.

            Christen started to unbutton Tobin’s shirt not once separating their lips. Tobin grasped the bottom of Christen’s white shirt and pulled it over her head. Tobin latched her lips on Christen’s neck with purpose. She wanted to leave a mark, and Christen just pulled her impossibly closer moaning.

            “Tobin, I need you.” Christen whispered in Tobin’s ear as she bit Tobin’s earlobe aggressively. This egged Tobin on. She grasped Christen’s hips and turned her to the side so that Christen’s back hit the seat cushions. Tobin quickly reached behind Christen unclasping the woman’s bra. She ripped it off and threw it somewhere behind the couch not caring where it landed.

            Tobin lowered her kisses from Christen’s neck down to her breasts. She grabbed one breast as she sucked on the other aggressively. This caused Christen to lift her body up into Tobin’s touch. She continued to lick her way down to Christen’s naval, and unbuttoned her jeans. Tobin yanked on Christen’s jeans bringing her underwear with it. She started kissing Christen’s inner thighs sucking in skin every other kiss leaving red marks on Christen’s legs.

            Tobin looked up as she saw Christen lips bitten, and eyes closed. She felt Christen’s hands grasp onto her hair pushing her towards Christen’s center. She latched onto Christen slowly tracing patterns with her tongue. Christen started to grind onto Tobin’s face swearing.

            This went on for a while. Tobin’s neck muscles started to cramp but she still kept going. She was determined to have her girl finish. She brought two fingers to Christen’s center and entered. She was tight and slick, and her walls clamped down onto Tobin’s fingers. Soon Christen stiffened up as her back arched letting Tobin know that she’d reached her climax. Tobin slowly removed her fingers but kept licking Christen’s clit slowly. She lapped up all of the girl’s juices and brought her down from her high.

            Tobin felt hands grasping her head pulling her up. Christen melded her lips with Tobin tasting herself on Tobin’s lips. She slid her tongue on Tobin’s bottom lip and Tobin granted her entrance deepening the kiss. They were in for a long night, and Christen’s hands slowly started tracing lines up and down Tobin’s body. They laid like that for a while oblivious to the damaged they emotionally caused each other.


	2. Repercussion

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello all! How are you guys doing? Hope all is well. I've struggled a bit with this chapter so hopefully you guys like it. I know there's so many questions being unanswered but I promise I'll tie it up eventually. Hope you like it!

Christen laid there with her arms around Tobin. It had been long since Tobin’s breathing started to even out hinting that she had fallen asleep. Sleep was tugging at Christen but she knew she couldn’t stay. It wouldn’t be fair for the girl in her arms. She knew she shouldn’t have come but something compelled her to drive to Tobin’s house after seeing the text message asking her to come over. Christen didn’t expect that they’re limbs would be tangled by the end of the night. She’d hoped they would talk, and hope that Tobin would say the words of “Can we get past this?”

Her eyes welled up with tears threatening to fall, and Christen bit her lip trying to will herself not to cry. She wished these past months didn’t happen. It was quick and regret settled in fast. Before it was even over she wished it never happened. She just wanted Tobin back but she knew that she didn’t deserve her. She wouldn’t beg because she knew that it really wasn’t up to her.

She slipped her right arm from underneath Tobin’s left arm. Christen wrapped both of her arms around Tobin’s head holding her with eyes shut tight. She held on trying to memorize Tobin’s scent, and how she felt with her arms around her. Christen bit her lip not wanting to cry. “I love you.” She whispered in the dark. She watched as Tobin’s face looked relaxed as she slept. She moved a strand of hair that fell on her face and cupped her cheek. Christen leaned in giving a slow long peck on Tobin’s lips.

Christen untangled herself from Tobin, and she turned to the side of the bed her feet dangling. She stood up and squinted trying to look for her clothes in the dark. She picked up her shirt slowly not wanting to leave. She slipped in her jeans that were in the corner of Tobin’s room. Christen sighed knowing she had to go. She sat at the edge of Tobin’s bed and rubbed Tobin’s arm. She knew Tobin wasn’t going to wake up. She was a deep sleeper. Christen leaned in and gave a long peck on Tobin’s forehead inhaling as her lips touched skin. She pulled back and gave Tobin’s arm a firm squeeze.

“Come back to me love.” Christen whispered as she stood up and walked out of the bedroom door.

 

 

Her body was sore. Limbs were stiff, and muscles were achy. Drums were beating in her head, and Tobin could do nothing except hold her head in between her hands. She rolled around in her bed, sheets hanging off the edges. She reached over to the side of her bed and she felt that it was cold. Of course she didn’t stay. Tobin hoped she would but Christen was right, this definitely didn’t change anything.

            Tobin pushed off the bed slowly. Her room looked like a hurricane blew through it. Clothes were scattered on the floor, and her laundry basket tipped on its side. She wiggled her toes touching the wooden floor of her room. Every part of her hurt to move. She was hungover, and it felt like she was ran over by a truck. Her mind was cloudy with thoughts of Christen filling her head.

Before she could do anything else she felt her stomach flip and she quickly ran to her bathroom. Tobin kneeled at the toilet and let the contents of her stomach come out. Yellow liquid spilled out. She didn’t eat before drinking the bottle last night. She spit the bitter liquid out onto the bowl and wiped her mouth with the back of her hand. Tobin groaned as she rested her chin on the bowl. “Fuck me.” She grunted as she flushed the toilet.

Tobin sat down on the floor near the toilet. She let her head hang low. Holding it up used too much energy at the moment. She closed her eyes remembering the hands that wrapped around her head urging her to keep going. She felt the lips on her neck that fanned the flame inside of her. She longed for Christen’s warmth pressed against hers. She thought back on the night that changed her life drastically.

 

  

Tobin looked at the face plagued with sadness. Christen’s eyes were downcast and on the verge of tears. The two sat on the couch across from each other on opposite sides. They’d been trying to talk for hours, and every time Christen got close to saying what was truly on her mind she would break down.

“Tobin, I love you.” Christen whispered her green eyes meeting Tobin’s brown ones.

“I love you too. Now can you tell me what’s been bothering that pretty little head of yours?” Tobin said as she reached over and touched Christen’s cheek.

Christen bit her lip and shook her head. She scooted closer to Tobin now just inches of space between them. Christen leaned forward cupping Tobin’s face and pulled her close eliminating the gap between them. They kissed slowly. The kiss was salty as Christen’s tears started to fall. She pulled back slowly Tobin chasing Christen’s lips.

“I have to break up with you.” Christen whispered dropping her hands onto Tobin’s side.

Tobin froze her hands still cupping Christen’s face. “You what?”

Christen backed away afraid of her girlfriend’s reaction. “This relationship isn’t working anymore.”

Tobin scooted away from Christen towards the other end of the couch. “You’re lying.”

Christen looked her in the eye painfully. “Would I lie about something like this?”

“You just told me you loved me.” Tobin asked leaning her elbows on her knees feeling as if the wind was knocked out of her.

“I do.” Christen mumbled. “But I can’t be with you anymore.”

“What the fuck do you mean you can’t be with me?”

“Tobin I just can’t.” Christen said frustrated.

“Who is it?”

“What?”

“Who’s the person you’re leaving me for?”

Christen paused and it didn’t go unnoticed. She cleared her throat and swallowed thickly. “No one.”

Tobin threw her hands in the air. “Oh that’s bullshit.”

“I’m not leaving you for anyone.” Christen said honestly

“Then why are you leaving me?”

“Because I fucked up.” Christen said tearing up again as her voice cracked.

Tobin glared at her still not making sense of what was happening before her.

Christen took a deep breath wiping her tears. She sighed steadying herself. “I messed up ok? I’m the one who fucked up, not you. I cheated, and I know it is unforgivable so I’m breaking up with you.”

Tobin stood up now pacing the living room. Her hands rubbed her face. “You cheated on me?”

Christen nodded not trusting her voice anymore. Tears started to fall again, and this time she couldn’t hold back the sobs that racked her body. The weight of the situation finally settled in.

“How long?” Tobin asked stopping. The black coffee table separated both of them.

“It was a month ago.” Christen said between sobs.

Tobin clenched her fist. “So the first thing you want to do is break up with me?”

Christen stopped wiping her face. She sniffled as she tried to stop herself from crying.

Tobin grabbed the remote from the table and threw it across the room. It fell apart as it hit the white walls. “are you going to say anything?”

Christen flinched as the remote flew.

Tobin crossed her arms as she stood in front of Christen. “Fuck it. It’s over just leave.”

Christen stood up quickly and grabbed her bag from the dining table. She stopped at the door and turned around. She watched Tobin leaning on the back of the couch hunched over breathing heavily.

“I’m sorry.” Christen said softly almost inaudible. She turned the knob and walked out of the door.

 

 

Tobin adjusted her shades on her face. She sat crookedly on the black steel seat of the coffee shop. Her stomach still churned uncomfortably from the alcohol she consumed last night. She took a small sip of her cup of coffee and checked her phone. There were no messages although she hoped there would be. Her head ached, but what really bothered her was this ache in the middle of her chest. She had a lump in her throat that no matter how many times she swallowed it wouldn’t disappear. Tobin couldn’t understand why she still longed for a certain green eyed girl. Christen had hurt her bad. She cut her deep, but she couldn’t help but want her. Could she just look past her being unfaithful?

Lindsey stood in front of Tobin placing a cup on the table. She dragged the chair back and Tobin flinched at the loud noise. “You look like shit.” Lindsey said.

Tobin shook her head. “I feel like shit.”

            Lindsey took a seat in the chair and grabbed her coffee and leaned forward towards Tobin. “What happened to not drinking?”

            “I slipped up Linds.”

            Lindsey nodded taking a sip of her drink.

            “Christen came over last night.”

            Lindsey’s eyes grew wide. “Are you serious?”

            Tobin nodded.

            “Why? What happened?”

            “I guess I texted her while I was drunk and she came over.”

            Lindsey leaned back watching her friend look defeated.

            “We slept together.”

            “Tobin!” Lindsey yelled raising both hands up.

            Tobin bit her lip as she drummed her fingers on the table. “What does this all mean?”

            Lindsey shook her head, “I don’t know. What do you want it to mean? Do you want to get back with her? Is that even possible?”

            “Should I want to get back with her?” Tobin asked looking perplexed as she leaned her head on the table.

            “That’s a question you have to answer yourself my friend.” Lindsey said

            Part of Tobin wanted to say yes that she wanted to look past the last couple months and be with Christen again, but another part of her, the broken part of her wants to fight and convince herself that she deserved better. Depending on her blood alcohol level resulted in which part of her won. Today she missed Christen, and she longed for things to go back to normal but she knows that what happened between them didn’t change the fact that they weren’t together.

            “I don’t want to be with her. At least not now.”

            “So why do you always call her?”

            Tobin lifted both her hands to her temple and massaged it. “I tend to miss her when I drink.”

            “You know that’s not fair for both of you right? Do you know where she stands?”

            “I have no clue. She must still want me if she’s willing to sleep with me. She always tells me that it doesn’t change things every time I do sleep with her though.” Tobin picks up her drink straightening herself in the chair starting to feel her hangover lift.

            “Why don’t you talk to her?” Lindsey asks.

            “Sober?”

            “Of course sober Tobin. I think you definitely need closure. As of right now you broke up with her because she cheated. You never got to talk it out.”

            Tobin chewed on her bottom lip. “I don’t want to talk to her though. She hurt me Lindsey.”

            “Then don’t talk to her Tobin. Stop calling her, stop texting her. Make up your mind whether you want her in your life or not at all. This limbo thing that you’re putting each other in isn’t healthy.”

            Tobin nodded putting her shades up to her hairline. “I know. I really do need to stop talking to her. She cheated on me Linds. That’s like the ultimate betrayal in a relationship right?”

            Lindsey shrugged. “I can’t answer that for you Tobin.”

            “Yeah. I gotta stop talking to her.” Tobin said standing up. She placed her empty cup of coffee in the trash can. She stretched both hands above her head, shook her shoulders and took a deep breath. “I can do this.”

 

 

            Tobin sat in a folding chair. She was in a basement of a church. There were two rows of chairs that made a square around the room. She fidgeted with her fingers nervously. She looked around the room and there were two ladies in the front chatting. Not being able to sit still due to her nerves Tobin stood up and walked towards the back corner where there was a coffee pot. She grabbed a Styrofoam cup and poured herself a cup of coffee. She looked at her watch and knew if she drank this cup she would be up all night. As she poured some creamer into the cup a lady came up behind her.

            “Hey! I’m Kelley. First time here?”

            Tobin looks up placing the creamer down on the table. She nods and gives a halfhearted smile. Kelley extends her hand to Tobin with a wide smile. Tobin grabbed the other girl’s hand and said, “I’m Tobin.”

            “Welcome! Are you from around the area?”

            “Yeah, I live fifteen minutes away from here.”

            “Oh that’s great. So how much time do you have?”

            Tobin tilts her head in confusion. She looks at the clock and she noticed that there’s still five more minutes before the meeting started. “Well this thing starts at 7 right?”

            Kelley laughed and waved her hand. “No, no, I meant how many days sober do you have?

            Tobin’s eyes widen at the question. “Uh.. I drank last night.”

            “Ok. So do you just want to stop drinking or are you here on a court card?”

            Tobin took a sip of her coffee and looked around the room. More people started to fill the room and she started to feel a little more nervous. “I don’t make the best choices when I drink.”

            Kelley smiles at Tobin and nods pouring herself a cup of coffee. “None of us do. That’s why we’re here. Wanna sit next to me?”

            Tobin smiled at how Kelly was being so friendly. “Sure.” She follows Kelley and they take a seat in the back of the room. “So what do we do here?”

            Kelley looks over at Tobin as she pops a piece of chocolate in her mouth. “Don’t worry. You can just sit and listen.”

            Tobin nodded and fidgeted with the cup in her hand. She couldn’t believe she was at an AA meeting. She didn’t think her drinking was too much of a problem but she knew if she was going to stop talking to Christen, she had to stop drinking. Tobin knew that just quitting drinking alone wouldn’t suffice. She had to take action. She was determined to stop calling her ex. Even though part of her just wanted to quit and ask for Christen back, she needed to see if she could do it on her own.


End file.
